Future.

Most people have awful fears of spiders or heights or dying. No, one of my worst fears is the future. I have many other fears though, but the one that causes me from living a normal life is this one. I worry so much about it that sometimes I feel like Im just going to break down. I shouldnt worry about it! But just everything makes me worry, my classes if Ill pass them or not. If Im worthy enough to ever get married, or if I will ever get over my horrible fear of having sex? Going to the OBGYN, Having kids, Taking care of a family, Cooking, Cleaning, Being stuck doing all the crap I fear and dread!! Turning 70 and not being able to do anything anymore? Getting put in a nursing home because I cant take care of myself?? Why is all of this bothering me? This barely touches the surface of what bothers me!! I havent even got to things such as terrorism, rape, divorce, being broke and without a place to live, being kicked out of college, never getting a job, talking to people on the phone, being comfortable around people, getting close to someone and then they forget about me or leave me, loneliness, failing, living, dying...ect. The list never ends!!! Or the crazy stories I come up with in my head such as if I dont get home at a certain time I will get screamed and yelled at. Or if I say no to someone, they may hate me for things like not taking a friend some place or not helping someone out. I fear being judged. I fear I crave attention for all the wrong reasons. I feel like im writing this right now is because I want attention!!! Why do I feel that this is just a world full of hate?!?!!?! Why do i feel like I want someone to read this so badly?? There is no reason why I need someone right now. There is no reason why I need any friends at all! Why do we need friends? To help us feel more comfortable? To help us feel like someone cares? Well in reality, no one really cares about another person. We are all just existing at the moment. We serve a purpose to have sex and make babies and over populate the world. Which are two things I fear the most about the future. I cant see the point of existing in this world. Why do we do the things we do? Why do I worry about this so much that it causes me from living a normal life? ALL I WANT IS SOME ANSWERS!!!!