Left behind?

How come I am always feeling like Im never progressing in life? How come I feel this constant motion of never changing? I try so hard to make myself move forward but it doesnt seem to work. I love around at all of my friends and they all either have job, getting married, already married, getting boyfriends, getting awards scholarships, ect...everyone seems to be progressing. I am sitting in limbo right now, waiting. I cant get a job because Im apparently not even good enough to work at whataburger or run a cash register at a warehouse. Thats how life is treating me now. Plus on top of that, a lot of my friends dont really care to talk to me unless I text them first. Am I living in a constant state of feeling like Im still in high school? I even believe that I must follow my moms set of rules or I get in trouble. I cant seem to break free of this insanity!!! I cant even decide what I want out of life anymore! Am I living or am I just existing? I really want to know! I am trying to live but I live in constant worry and doubt and fear. I just want to have fun. I want to be able to enjoy life and enjoy what life has to offer and not worry about money or love or anything else. Why does this stuff bother me so much? Why do I wish my life had a set path to follow? I hate all this uncertainty. I really do. I wish I knew what was going to happen later on in life. Or do I really want to know? The future scares me dearly. I think I should go to bed and get ready for morning. Im getting pretty tired and all this stuff is depressing me!