What is reality?

What is reality really? Could it be that we are all in a long drawn out dream. I mean our sub-conscience could be what is causing us to live and to keep going. Our sub conscience controls us of everything we do and don't do. Think about it. We follow laws because our sub consciences tells us if we break them it will be wrong, whether we do it or not. Our brains function around sub conscience thinking. Our sub conscience has a mind of its own. Ever think about the voice in your head that you create to make it sound the way you want it to? You want it to sound like the voice you dream of having.

Death

What can I say about it? It sucks! Not like I would know or anything. For all I know death may be way better than living. But being stuck on earth and having to suffer the losses of your friends and people you know and grew up with really sucks. Maybe its the regret of not saying goodbye? Or not getting to hang out with them one last time. Maybe its the fact that they would ask me to hang out but I would always be gone or too busy? Why couldnt I ever find the time to hang out with her before she died? She asked me to a couple of times but why did I keep putting it off? Now all this regret has built up inside of me. I am too scared to release it because Im afraid to show my true feelings to people. I hate feeling like this. Why does a coward like me deserve to live when Lora has struggled her entire life just to be able to breathe? I need to become more appreciative of life instead of trying to rush through it and pass up great opportunities? You never know when its the last chance you will get to hang out with a friend or do something you enjoy....